Five Steps for Overcoming the Indecisive Mindset

In a previous post, I outlined five features of the indecisive mindset and explained how decisive people think. To summarize,…

Indecisiveness is caused by a fear of uncertainty and a wish to know the unknowable. Because decision outcomes are not guaranteed, an indecisive person will make negative predictions and underestimate their ability to solve unwanted consequences of their choice.

They may also believe they must make the absolute “right” decision and anticipate regret if something goes wrong. To push away these feelings, they think through all conceivable scenarios and plan exit strategies for hypothetical problems.

But this kind of thinking is like quicksand. The more someone wrestles with uncertainty, the more stuck they feel.

In contrast, decisive people accept uncertainty and make decisions based on concrete variables. They also trust in themselves to manage unforeseen problems. They think to themselves: If it doesn’t work out, I will be able to make a change to improve the situation.

Finally, they treat their decisions as incremental steps rather than ultimate immutable choices. This permits them the freedom to take action.

The key to reversing the indecisive mindset is to remove fortunetelling from your decision-making process. Trying to predict the consequences of your choice prevents you from making one.

Focus instead on concrete, practical actions that help you organize the facts and evaluate your options. This will keep you grounded in the tangible real world. There are a variety of ways to embrace decisive action. Here is one approach consisting of five steps.

1. Make a list of the facts that you already know.

When faced with a new decision problem, you likely already know some things. You know the options and what you initially like or dislike about each. Grab a pen and paper and make a list of each of these facts.

This list can include objectively verifiable information, such as “job X pays $20 per hour.” It can also include your own subjective thoughts and feelings. Even though others cannot consider this fact, you can treat your thoughts and feelings as factual statements about how you think and feel. After all, you know your own experience.

For example, you can write down, “I am unhappy at my current job,” “I am excited to work with Sally,” and “I’m intimidated by the corporate environment.”

Tip: Do not include “might statements” on your list of facts, such as “I might not like the new boss.” This is a worry about a possible outcome, not a fact.

2. Make a list of knowable unknowns.

For any decision, there is a range of things you do not currently know but could easily find out. This can include salary and benefits information about a prospective job, average rent costs in a city or neighborhood you are considering moving to, the length of your commute to a new gym, or the cost of one insurance policy versus another.

Although I have discouraged you from thinking about unknown factors, this applies only to information that can’t be known or predicted. But when there is relevant information that you can easily obtain, some selective research is necessary to make a sound decision. In this step, list all the things you would like to know to make a more confident and informed choice.

Tip: To restrict your research to obtainable objective information, do not include “what if” questions. Similar to “might” statements, “what if” questions speak to your worries about the future, not the currently available facts.

3. Convert your questions into tasks that you schedule and execute.

Now that you have a list of questions, schedule them as information-gathering tasks into your calendar or agenda. For example, calling human resources to obtain salary and benefits information is a task you can schedule. Set a deadline for deciding if one does not already exist, and plan your queries accordingly. Use alerts to remind yourself when it’s time to follow through.

Tip: Do not confuse information-gathering with reassurance-seeking. If you have a hard time telling the difference, this article may help guide you. In the meantime, avoid repeatedly sampling other’s opinions if you already have the facts, and if the purpose of doing so is to momentarily sooth anxiety rather than obtain new information.

4. Make a list of pros and cons that consist of only known factors.

Now that you have a list of facts and answers to your answerable questions, it’s time to make a pros and cons list. Remember our theme about sticking to knowable facts? That is the only rule in drafting this list.

When you restrict your pros and cons to the objective information you have, it helps you stay grounded in the tangible and controllable world and provides clarity about what you want when your anxiety and worries are set aside.

5. Choose one option or a proximal step.

A typical decision problem will seem binary, such as keeping my current job or getting a new one. But this carries an illusion of permanence. For instance, staying at a job is not an ultimate immutable choice.

You can choose to stay there for one day, week, month, etc. You can also stay put until factor X is known or condition Y is met. Similarly, searching for a new job does not entail that you take the job or stay there forever. Viewing your options as proximal steps in life’s journey is essential for developing a decisive mindset.

Every step until now was designed to activate you and help you circumvent the mental quicksand of fortunetelling. All you need to do now is take action towards one of your options.

Examples: If you are not ready to switch jobs, why not start by applying for one? If you are not ready to commit to a new gym membership, why not start with a trial? If you are unsure you want to end your relationship, why not discuss what’s bothering you, propose a temporary break, or seek professional help? Decisions need not be ultimate binary choices. What’s important is that you trade in unending mental analysis for something active.

Final Note

The system above is only one of several methods for circumventing analysis paralysis and avoidance. It is likely to work best if you experience only mild-to-moderate challenges with decision anxiety.

However, if you tend to experience severe or debilitating decision anxiety, or if you are currently weighing something with life-altering implications, seek the assistance of a professional to help you apply these and other strategies tailored to your situation.

A version of this post originally appeared on Dr. Riven’s Psychology Today blog, Demystifying OCD, with the title “5 Steps for Overcoming the Indecisive Mindset“.